theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
and you fell through a lawn chair
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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