Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
