shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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