Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize