Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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