I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
