That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
