Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
