I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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