I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Randomize
