how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
