My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
