The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
