Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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