quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize