Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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