two words: eviction party
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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