She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
