yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize