All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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