apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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