It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
