I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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