Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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