i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
