was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
