i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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