My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
