just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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