it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
