let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize