Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
