I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
