My nipple is on Facebook.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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