Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize