All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
