The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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