you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
