i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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