Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
