Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
