So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
