Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
