Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
