is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
