I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
