im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
