This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
