Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
