But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
