Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
