how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize