i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
