That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
