So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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