if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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