I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
