Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize