O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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