jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
