I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize