It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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