I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
