Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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