He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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