He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
