Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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