no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
