You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
