your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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