Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
