Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
