Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
