You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
do nipples grow back?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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