their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
